Artist Watch: Christina Aguilera

Most of you reading this will (hopefully) be thinking, “Christina Aguilera, what a fucking legend,” because back in the early to mid-2000 she was Queen.

Well, I had a realisation while listening to the album that put an indefinite halt on her career, Bionic (more on that album later), that millennials might not even know who he is – this thought nearly gave me a heart attack.

If, for some stupid reason, you don’t know who she is…well, she’s the voice of her generation, take a look at the video below and tell me this woman can’t sing –  I dare you!

She had a plethora of hits under her belt, like “Beautiful,” “Genie In A Bottle,” and “Candyman” – all, for your information, fucking slayed!

Riding high after the success of Back To Basics, an album that took influences from the 50s and 60s and put a modern spin on them. We were all raring to hear what she had to offer us next!

Well, what came was a disappointment.

Three years had passed since Back To Basics, and a few new pop stars, one by the name of Lady Gaga, had arrived on the scene.

Xtina came back with a more current sound, possibly too forward thinking, to fit in with the vibes Gaga and Katy Perry were bringing, but the image she brought along with it seemed too familiar.

The trouble was that Gaga’s eccentric style was taking over and every singer was being a little weirder, the problem for Xtina was that she was blonde too.

The lead single from Bionic was “Not Myself Tonight,” while the song wasn’t the smash we had all hoped for – although it’s perfectly enjoyable and deserved a top ten space – the styling for the video seemed a little too similar – a little too “Bad Romance.”

It wasn’t helped when Xtina said she didn’t even know who Gaga was…EVERYONE KNEW WHO SHE WAS AFTER “POKERFACE” GODDAMIT.

Skip forward a few months and the album rolled was rolled out to a commercial disaster.

However, listening to the album now, it did seem a little too early for its time, like The Voice US star admitted recently.

The production on pretty much all the tracks is made for the club – more gay clubs to be honest, but they’re the best places!

Vanity,” “Birds Of Prey,” “Glam” and “Prima donna” were/are solid tracks of the album that just got lost in a time before they were ready to be heard.

After the release, things went from bad to worse, she ended up getting a divorce, being arrested and had fake tan leak down her legs while performing.

Roll forward a few more years and the star had clawed back to a respectable standing by appearing on The Voice US, and she eventually released Lotus – what a waste of time that was.

While reviews were more positive at the time, and let’s not lie, there are some good tracks, like “Blank Page,” it is extremely forgetful. While her Bionic was before it’s time, this album seemed to just blend in – which is worse!

Barely any promotion led Xtina to yet another commercial disaster.

Here we are, five years on from Lotus and still no new music. She keeps saying she’s in the studio but we’ve heard nothing, zilch, fuck all.

Well, other than a pissing Oreo commercial, which fans were rightly angry at.

Take a look at it – she looks hot though!

The reason us 90s kids are ready for new Xtina is because we know how great she can be, and we all want to hear that voice again.

If Britney can do it, you can, Christina!

We’ll leave you with our favourite Aguilera track, “Ain’t No Other Man,” and in the comments tell us how you feel about Xtina’s comeback – if there ever is one!

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